looking for my real happiness

Lunes, Disyembre 30, 2013

Unloving you

All i can say is that i did my best...

The moment i met you was the moment i was about to give up on the boredom of life. You smiled at me and though we were miles apart, the sincerity of that conversation reached the loneliness i felt that time. I never thought that this would continue for 3 years and never regret the part we promised to stay forever. I guess, promises are made to be broken sealed with a broken heart. I am writing this because i know here in my heart, i will never ever love someone like i did to you. I've reached the point were I was very sure of where will this relationship head to, but too blinded to accept the near death of our story. You gave me happiness that i know i never gave back to you. I filled every conversations with sweet nothings and intellectual insights that will keep you enticed. I was wrong of believing a lie. We both know that we were just living in a lie where unspoken reality hurts the most. You don't need to run anymore,..i won't catch you. I know i have to let you go and for me to start a life without you. I still miss you sometimes,..and though forgetting is really hard you have to be erased here in my heart and mind. There is no space for you to live here in me and we should live separately now. Love is a mystery and i will never get tired of loving. But not you anymore..Thanks for the broken promises and for breaking my heart..I died a little but I am in a state of coma where I feel better than i was with you.

 — feeling tired.

Linggo, Nobyembre 10, 2013

Peace why have you forsaken me?

I would like to go back to my childhood days. So peaceful....so naive and everything was just sooooo colorful. I would always play and would not notice time flies so fast. My mom would get angry and call me up, but that would never erase the fun memories i had back then. If i could just go back to that time where everything feels so fresh..simple..relaxing. I would just stay there for awhile,  while thinking of what would i be when i grow up.

I am fully grown up now. I have reached the part where i used to think i could be a teacher or a doctor or a plain housewife.What happened? what have i done? were all of these happened because of that childhood plans? I wouldn't think so..I am who I am right now because i didn't plan of who i wanted to be. It just happened. God wrote this part of my life. I truly believe that from childhood till now, he has been writing all these stuff about MY LIFE. If i could just help God to write about my future and put a little changes to it but i won't..I'll just let HiM do it for me.